I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
