youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
