I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I intend to get homeless drunk
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
