i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
