oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just gift wrapped bread.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I would fuck him just for his dog
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
