we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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