i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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