toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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