those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
