Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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