I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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