My sheets look like a crime scene.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
