great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Randomize
