i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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