Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
