i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
