she smelled like a LAN party
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
