Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
