singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize