Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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