Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
