I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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