well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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