My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
