how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
