I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
