it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
