OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
