**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
