I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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