Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
