Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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