I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
