Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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