We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Ketchup is God's man juice
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
