You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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