I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
