I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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