So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
