There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
