Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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