i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
