i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You dont lie about slip and slides
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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