That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
