It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
