How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
