Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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