When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
