Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
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We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
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Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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