You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
