The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
