There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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