finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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