so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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