I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
