forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
