My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
