I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
